Dating an Alcoholic: What You Need to learn from people Who’ve Been through It

Having an alcoholic in the family is difficult. Having a friend who is an alcoholic is difficult. But dating an alcoholic is more difficult.

It’s not entirely their fault: alcohol has taken control of their body and they can’t live without it. Withdrawal symptoms will keep them drinking even if they want to quit. By this point they’ve already built up a tolerance for alcoholic drinks, and they can’t get it out of their system without rehab.

But as hard as it is for the alcoholic, it is also difficult for the people around them as well. It started when the person first began abusing alcohol. They got looks of concern from their loved ones and friends. This unfortunately wasn’t enough to keep them from drinking. In the end, they became an alcoholic, dependent on alcohol, and unable to maintain healthy relationships.

So what is it like to date an alcoholic?

The fact that you are merely dating and not married implies that there’s a significant degree of freedom on the non-alcoholic partner’s side. There’s freedom to leave the relationship whenever they want. But just because they can leave the alcoholic behind doesn’t mean they would-should.

Why do people stick around in relationships when alcoholism is clearly something that comes between them?

You’ll find that people in this type of relationship, or those who have chosen to end it, are willing to share their knowledge on the subject. Today we will be talking about the various things we can all learn from the people who have dated an alcoholic.

First, let’s look at the signs.

Signs You’re Dating an Alcoholic

• If a person wants to keep you around, they probably wouldn’t tell you that they have an alcohol problem. But this is not something they would be able to keep away from you forever. Alcoholism is a very obvious condition. It’s a disease, after all.
• An alcoholic is likely to have their entire social life revolving around alcohol. They only attend events where alcohol is either available or allowed. And when it is allowed in the venue, they will surely take advantage of it. They’ll bring their own.
• They will often hang out with people who drink nearly as much as they do. It probably started when they were only abusing alcohol—not yet totally dependent on it. They would drink whenever they got stressed. But now that they’ve become a full blown alcoholic, they will drink no matter the occasion, and no matter what emotion they’re feeling.
• Alcoholics tend to feel irritated when they can’t have a drink. They’re likely to be just fine while having a drink in their hand. Otherwise, he’ll be prone to becoming angry even with the slightest provocation.
• If your partner is an alcoholic, they will likely have experienced problems related to drinking. They may have lost their job, become disconnected with their families, or even committed a crime. They will try to hide this from you, but if you do find out about it, it should put your relationship in perspective.
• The last sign that your partner is an alcoholic is that they have family members who are having the same problems. Family history has something to do with the development of alcoholism. The environment they grew up in will factor in, not to mention that alcoholism is genetic.

If your partner is displaying these signs, read on. These are the things you must know about alcoholics, according to people who have dated them.

1. Alcoholism is life-threatening

This is the first thing you should know: your partner is in danger. Their health will ultimately be affected by their drinking habits if they are unable to stop. Chances are, they won’t have the willpower to change their behavior, because their body has started requiring the presence of alcohol.

Be aware that the person you are dating is suffering physically and emotionally. It may be best if you could find a good rehabilitation program for them.

Alcoholism is slowly killing them, but there’s still hope for recovery.

2. Alcoholics are good at hiding

They can and will hide their drinking from you, so don’t be surprised if you find a couple of empty bottles lying around. If you are dating an alcoholic, they will likely try to keep you around by lying about their habits.

3. Alcoholics will drink no matter what

You have to be aware that they are not drinking because of you. You can’t blame yourself. In many ways, you can’t blame them either. You have to weigh whether it is worth sticking around with them or not. Unless you can get them into rehab, they will continue drinking.

4. Alcoholics have to be willing to change

Despite their lack of control over their alcohol consumption, they have to at least want to change. They can only get rid of this habit safely by finding a program that suits their condition. And the most difficult part is they have to stick with it.

This is something that’s out of your control.

Just like in any other relationship, you cannot change your partner. It’s going to be even tougher if you’re maintaining a relationship with an alcoholic. The choice of whether you’ll remain with them or not will ultimately depend on you. Keep their health and safety in mind, but do not forget your own.

Detox of South Florida wants you and your loved ones to live a sober life that is rich and fulfilling. You and your loved ones can live a life free from addiction.

Alcohol rehab programs in Florida are abundant. Our expert staff is medically trained to help you detox and rehab safely.

Updated on January 6th 2020

Dr. Vikram Tarugu MD

Dr. Vikram Tarugu, M.D, is the CEO of Detox of South Florida, Inc and medical professional focused on addiction. A veteran in the medical field with over 25 years of professional experience. He is a consultant for many South Florida Rehab centers. Patients travel from allover the US to seek his help with addiction and Hepatitis C treatment.